


Kaszare

by amassingeffect (Furorscribiendi)



Series: Goddamn Trainwreck [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Drinking, Explicit Language, M/M, Masturbation, eventual Javik/Zaeed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:04:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15147806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furorscribiendi/pseuds/amassingeffect
Summary: Shepard's having a party. Javik's totally not drunk and Zaeed's very much not yanking Javik's chain a bit. What they're definitely not doing, is flirting spectacularly badly.





	Kaszare

**Author's Note:**

> So, let’s just pretend that Zaeed wasn’t trying to flirt with Samara in the Citadel DLC party. Let’s just say that he and Javik had a trainwreck of a flirting session. And you can totally blame[@visceral-vices](http://visceral-vices.tumblr.com/) for this because they've drawn some amazing Javik and Zaaed art and it was [this particular thing they drew](http://visceral-vices.tumblr.com/post/174092281626/why-do-i-always-fall-for-the-weirdest-pairings-in) that cemented this rarepair for me.

“Mm, kaszare.”

“Eh?” Zaeed looked up from below the counter to find Javik staring at him. “Come again?”

“Kaszare.” Javik said again. But after a moment of thought, he clarified, “You flirt like a female.”

Zaeed just stared at Javik. He had been looking for peanuts, but maybe he should be looking at his beer? He squinted at the label. Damn thing was only 5% yeah? He could have sworn he didn’t have more than three of the things. It definitely wasn’t him, so he turned his attention to Javik. He had thought, maybe the Prothean had been trying out a shitty joke when he told Jack he wanted to be mated with Zaeed. Javik’s sense of humour left a lot to be desired. 

“A Prothean female.” Javik elaborated.

An awful lot to be desired. That sentence alone didn’t clear up jackshit for Zaeed. With a sigh, he finished off his beer and reached for another one behind the bar. So much for peanuts. 

“You takin’ the piss?” Zaeed eyed Javik up as he opened the bottle, flicking the cap onto the counter. “I ain’t flirting and how the fuck should I know how a Prothean female flirts.”

Javik slowly got to his feet, taking careful deliberate steps. If he hadn’t been gently swaying from side to side, Zaeed wouldn’t have thought him to be drunk. Wait, wasn’t this arsehole always going on about how Prothean’s didn’t do shit like this. He barked out a laugh as Javik held onto the stool and blinked as he looked at Zaeed. 

“I’ll be damned,” he took a swallow of beer. “You’re drunk.”

All Javik did for a moment was frown, as if trying to get his brain to work. “I am not.”

“Uh huh.” Zaeed, shoved at his pauldron, watching him take the motion and then slowly settled back to leaning against the stool. This would be good for a laugh, something to lord over this pompous ass when he sobered up. “Go on then. How am I flirting with you?”

“You stare. With those eyes.” Javik’s gaze flicked down. “You say much with your gun. And your rage. You are relentless. You are sure of yourself. You may be human, but you possess the virtues of a Prothean,” he inhaled slowly, shifting in closer. “And I cannot help but wonder If you fuck like a Prothean too.”

Right. Javik looking at him like that and talking like that wasn’t allowed. Especially since it’d felt like ages since he had a good fuck. He snorted, took another drink of his beer as he slid off the stool. 

“All right, this is what you’re gonna do. You’re going to enjoy this rest of this party, and I’m going to fuck off. You’ll probably pass out somewhere at some point and tomorrow morning, I’m going to have a fucking good laugh about the 50,000 year old alien hitting me up for a bang.”

He turned to leave but Javik grasped at his wrist. The sheer feeling of want and desire slammed into him, making his cock instantly hard. Zaeed had to take a few breaths to steady and sort himself out before he looked back at Javik. 

“Let. Go.”

That was all he said and Javik released him looking… contrite? Nah, Zaeed was pretty sure the Prothean didn’t feel that emotion one bit. He stalked away, his erection insistently pressing against his codpiece and wasn’t that fucking annoying. With the party in full swing , an empty room seemed to be unavailable. Grunt was napping in one of the showers… with the shower running and Tali was drunk in another one, fumbling with a new filter, every bedroom was occupied with people and their shenanigans and goddamn, he just needed some privacy for like, five minutes. Just needed to rub one out and go back to drinking.

Fucking Javik.

The fact that his brain immediately jumped in that direction wasn’t helpful at all. With that formfitting black undersuit beneath his bulky armour. That suit hid practically nothing and come to think of it, what the hell was Javik packing down there? It was oddly smooth, much like a turian was. Maybe he was a grower? Or was it a cunt? Why the fuck was he wondering abot Javik’s freaking sex organs at who knew the fuck when in the morning?

“Fuck,” Zaeed drawled as he scrubbed a hand over his face. “That fucking arsehole.”

He circled around a bit before he spotted the open doorway coming up from the living room. It was a quick dash to the bathroom where he locked the door, put his beer down and looked around. No goddamn lotion or the like in sight. A quick shove to his pants and he was spitting into his hand and stroking himself slowly. Stupid Javik with those yellow eyes and insanely high cheekbones, that snarl that showed those sharp little teeth… was he a biter? Zaeed stopped for a moment, the image whiplashing through his brain. Javik underneath as Zaeed fucked him, blunt fingers digging in and those fucking sharp little teeth biting, pricks of pain in the drowning pleasure.

His hand moved faster as he grunted. Javik wasn’t the sort who struck him for cuddles and slow sex. It was probably quick and to the point or just flat out raw and primal. And given how tense Javik seemed the last little while, it was probably the latter. It was easier to get going now, using the precome from his dick as lube. Fucking Javik going absolutely wild beneath him…no, riding him, legs stretched to either side, bis whole goddamn body on display as Zaeed fucked him slow and steady. Just lean muscled lines of muted green with slivers of contrasting dusky red and those eyes that could damned near see into your soul and yeah, Zaeed wanted to see all of that, get Javik off and honestly, just see how the Prothean could fuck.

His orgasm ripped through him, as he stroked and squeezed his dick. Didn’t help when he closed his eyes, all he could see was Javik’s fucking face. When he finally sagged back against the counter, he was breathing harshly and he felt too hot in his armour. Still, better uncomfortably warm than dead. 

When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at the floor, he was grabbing the tissue box. “Like I’m a fucking teenager again.” He groused as he quickly wiped up the come streaked on the floor and pitched it in the toilet.

And come to think of it, this was an oddly spacious bathroom. He tucked himself away and washed his hands before taking a peek out the door. Shit, this was Shepard’s bathroom. Thankfully, no one had come into the room so he booked it out of there before anyone said anything. He spotted Garrus leaning on a railing on the upper balcony.

“Zaaed, just the person,” Garrus seemed exceptionally pleased and smelled a bit like brandy as he drew Zaeed in. “Don’t you think we need to properly set this place up for Shepard? You know, traps and such?”

“Shit, if they fell through a fish tank, we definitely need to do something to the windows.” Zaeed would happily jump on this conversation. Maybe it would stop him from wondering just how well Javik could keep those teeth off his dick.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, definitely in rarepair hell now. Don't mind me, working on my other ME fics and wondering how these two are so bad at this. 
> 
> I totally headcanon that Prothean females were very much the ones who initiate sex with a desired partner. And that whole bit Javik has about females "flirting with their eyes"? An actual thing that Prothean females did. But given the supposed rigidity of the culture and the high degree of military training, I feel like flirting with a Prothean is like riding the knife's edge of sex or death. LOL
> 
> So I made up a term: _kaszare - a look where one may be fighting or fucking, it all depends_
> 
> Now, I need to mosey on back over to [@visceral-vices](http://visceral-vices.tumblr.com/) tumblr and luxuriate in their Javik/Zaeed art some more whilst still wondering about Prothean genitalia.


End file.
